Great Men Thoughts & Facts

David Bissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Socrates
By all means marry... If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer.... is, "What does a woman want?

James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming...
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is... to forget it once.

Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years... Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Anonymous....

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking,
but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

3 Ways to Die :
Take a Cigar daily - You will die 5 years early,
Drink Alcohol daily - You will die 10 years early,
Love Someone Truly - You will die daily.

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Three FASTEST means of Communication :
Tele-Phone
Tele-Vision
Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE...

If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE ?
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because as per Indian Penal Code, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same mistake.

There are 2 women in a man’s life...
One brings him to the world crying & other ensures he does so the rest of the life.

A short luv story: A boy proposed to a girl. She said: ’iam sorry’…and the boy lived happily ever after.

Guy1: Why do u fear when u see any truck?
Guy2: My wife eloped with one truck driver. Iam fearing for that he definitely comes to return her.

Every man should marry...After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

The WISE never marry...
when they marry they become otherWISE.

u can't understand women in 2 situations...
1. before marriage,
2. after marriage.

మరి కొన్ని...

ప్రేమ మరియు పెళ్లి

A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"The teacher said, "in orderto answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggestwheat and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one bigWheat, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even biggerone waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start torealize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, heknow he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.
The teacher told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for a better one, butwhen later you realize, you have already miss the person....
"*"What is marriage then?" the student asked.
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the cornfield and choose the biggest corn and come back.
But the rule is: youcan go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.
"The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not torepeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, hehas picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to theteacher.
The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... you lookfor one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is thebest one you get.... this is marriage."

సాఫ్టువేర్ ఇంజనీర్

ఏ భాషరా నీది..

ఏ భాష రా నీది, ఏమి వేషమ్మురా
ఈ భాష, ఈ వేషమేవరి కోసమ్మురా
అన్య భాషలు నేర్చి ఆంధ్రమ్ము రాదనుచూ
సకిలించు ఆంధ్రుడా చావవెందుకురా !!

----- కాళోజీ

Chilling Real story!!!

This happened about a month ago near Lonavala.
A guy was driving from Mumbai to Pune and decided not to take the new expressway as he wanted to see the scenery. The inevitable happens and when he reached the ghats his Car breaks down - he's stranded miles from nowhere. Having no choice he started walking on the side of the road, hoping to get a lift to the nearest town. It was dark. And pretty soon he got wet and Shivering. The night rolled on and no car passed by.
Suddenly he saw a car coming towards him. It slowed and then stops next to him - without thinking the guy opened the door and jumps in. Seated in the back, he leaned forward to thank the person who had saved him. He realizes there is nobody behind the wheel!!! Even though there's no one in the front seat and no sound of any engine, the car starts moving slowly.
The guy looks at the road ahead and sees a curve coming. Scared almost to death he starts to pray, begging the Lord for his life. He hasn't come out of shock, when just before he hits the curve, a hand appears through the window and moves the wheel! The car makes the curve safely and continues on the road to the next bend. The guy, now paralyzed in terror, watches how the hand appears every time they are before a curve and moves the steering wheel just enough to get the car around each bend. Finally, the guy sees lights ahead. Gathering his courage he wrenches open the door of the silent, slowly moving car, scrambles out and runs as hard as he can towards the lights. It's a small town. He stumbles into a dhaba, and asks for a drink, and breaks down. Then he starts talking about the horrible experience he's just been through. There is dead silence in the dhaba when he stops talking ..... . . . .
.
.
.
And that's when Santa and Banta Singh walk into the dhaba. Santa points and says "Look Banta - that's the weird guy who got into our car when we were pushing it."

Deadlock situation

Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad, so make arrangement.

Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going abroad for a week, so let’s spend the week together.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tuition: I have work for a week, so you need not come for class.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week I don't have classes 'coz my teacher is busy. Let’s spend the week together.

Grandpa (The Boss) make call to his secretary: This week I am going to spend my time with my grandson. We cannot attend that meeting.

Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss has some work, cancelled our trip.

Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend this week together; my wife has cancelled her trip.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tuition: This week we will have class as usual.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I can't give you company.

Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry this week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement.